Release: Making Room by Letting Go

To let go does not mean to forget. It means to release what no longer needs to be carried.” Unknown

October brings some pretty obvious changes. The leaves are falling, the days are getting shorter, and summer is winding down. It's a good time of year to think about what we're holding on to and what we're ready to let go of.

This month, I've been thinking about Release.

In yoga, release doesn't mean giving up or checking out. Sometimes it's much simpler than that. It's noticing where we're working harder than we need to and seeing if we can let go of a little effort. It's softening tension. It's recognizing when we're holding on tightly and asking ourselves if we really need to.

Releasing physical tension

We all carry tension in our bodies. Sometimes we know we're doing it, like when our shoulders creep up toward our ears or we're clenching our jaw. Other times, we don't notice until we finally stop and realize how much we've been holding.

“Your body believes every word you say.” Barbara Hoberman Levine

It can be interesting to pay attention to those little habits throughout the day. Are you gripping the steering wheel? Holding your breath while you concentrate? Keeping your shoulders tense even though there's no reason for them to be?

Release doesn't have to mean completely relaxing. Sometimes it's simply noticing that you're working harder than you need to and letting go of just a little of that effort.

Releasing our idea of control

Wanting to be in control is pretty natural. Sometimes it helps us feel prepared or safe. But trying to control every outcome can also leave us tense and tired.

There are so many things we simply can't control. We can't always know how something will turn out, how another person will respond, or what comes next.

“Surrender is not giving up. It is trusting enough to let go.” Unknown

Letting go of control doesn't mean we stop caring or stop doing what we can. Sometimes it means taking care of what is ours to do and letting go of the part that isn’t.

That can be much harder than it sounds.

Releasing old patterns

We all have patterns. Some are helpful. Others are things we've been doing for so long that we don't really question them anymore.

Maybe you push through when you're tired. Maybe you say yes when you really want to say no. Maybe you have a familiar reaction when something doesn't go your way. Maybe you keep doing something simply because it's the way you've always done it.

“Awareness is the first step toward change.”  Attributed to Nathaniel Branden

We don't have to immediately fix every pattern we notice. In fact, I think there's something useful about simply noticing.

Once we see a pattern, we have a choice. We can keep doing what we've always done, or we can try something different.

That doesn't mean the old response was wrong. It just means we have another option.

Making room for what's next

One of the things I like about the idea of release is that it isn't only about what we're letting go of. It's also about the space that's left behind.

Sometimes we clear something out and don't immediately know what belongs there instead. That's okay.

We don't have to fill every bit of empty space.

Maybe that means clearing something from your home. Maybe it means saying no to something you don't have time for. Maybe it means leaving a little more room in your day instead of filling every minute.

There can be a tendency to rush toward what's next. But sometimes it's enough to pause and notice that you have a little more breathing room.

As October begins, I'm thinking about release less as something we need to accomplish and more as something we can practice. Notice where you're holding on. Notice what feels heavy. Notice what you're ready to loosen your grip on.

You don't have to let go of everything.

Maybe just a little is enough.